Canelo

I ended up spending a few more days in Bogota after that fateful night and had long forgotten it when I finally landed back in New York City with exhaustion, relief and some very complicated feelings. 

Autumn overtook both of our cities as Cristian and I entered a chaotic period of always wanting to talk to each other yet also fighting with each other over the stupidest reasons. Six weeks later as I landed in Amsterdam for a work trip, he sent me 3 videos, in succession, a little drunk, but very vulnerable and admitted he had feelings for me too and just didn't want to admit it. The next day we made it "official". 

We saw each other again in person a few months later in Mexico and consummated that we were now "boyfriends" We both took a special thrill in saying it to each other. Over time and as I reflect back on it - I realized it had  became one of the most enjoyable and unexpectedly conscientious relationships of my life. I’d learned from the wreckage of earlier ones how to actually communicate, how to admit when I was wrong, and how to talk about what I needed without turning it into a performance. I’d stopped confusing passion with volatility. And learned I'd rather be happy than right, and in those wonderful moments where it felt like magic, I never thought: "I wish it could be like this forever", I instead thought: "What a wonderful and magical experience I am having and I feel such gratitude that I am having it. We had good habits, and we made each other laugh, and we were both committed. 

There were the obvious challenges - long distance, language differences, two lives running in completely different cities. I was realistic. But instead of turning that awareness into anxiety, I made a point not to worry. I’d spent too many years treating love like something I had to control. This time I decided to just be in it, grateful, present and happy. 

A few months later, I went back to Bogotá for the first time since Halloween. That’s when I saw Enrique again. Being overcome with the memories and feelings from that night, I hugged him with such enthusiasm that he let out a chuckle and asked if I was trying to make Cristian jealous. This made us both laugh and I looked at him fondly - I associated him with Cristian. That night in Bogota almost 6 months earlier. He was part of this magic, part of the story from that night I had confessed to him how I had felt. When he offered me a cigarette, I took it without thinking even though I didn't smoke and gave him a piece of gum which he accepted with a smile. 

We talked for a while until Cristian finally came back. When he did Enrique greeted him briefly and made a joke about having to "babysit" me that Cristian needed to be careful leaving such a man like me untended before heading out, Cristian smiled politely and thanked him. Wondering if had made some kind of faux pas, Cristian assured me that he liked that I could find my own rhythm and be comfortable without him in social settings and didn’t cling but Colombians could be possessive and tried to be careful to not overstep. 

The necklaces began as an idea when we were planning our first shared birthday - a trip to Chile and our birthdays were only two days apart, both of us Tauruses. He was the one who brought it up first, not with details, just a question: what would I think about having matching jewelry, something we could each wear and hold onto when the other wasn’t there? Something that would remind us of each other in hard or lonely moments.

I was struck by how quickly he’d come to understand what I liked - my sense of simplicity, of meaning over flash - and after that brief conversation in early February, he never mentioned it again. Months later, when we met in Santiago after landing just a few hours apart, we finally had time to rest, shower, and reconnect before heading out to dinner. That’s when he handed me a small box — inside was a perfectly crafted silver Taurus pendant engraved with his initials. Then he showed me his: the same design, but in gold, with my initials on the back. It was thoughtful and rare and exactly right. That necklace got me through more nights than I can count when I missed him.

Two months later, I decided to throw Cristian a surprise birthday party for his 30th. I didn’t know most of his local friends, just the few he had introduced me to once we had become boyfriends, so I reached out to Jorge - the well-known social connector of Bogotá’s gay scene - to help organize it. Jorge was introduced to me as Cristian’s best friend, though ironically he and I had chatted many times on apps and almost met once during my initial trips to Bogota. Once Cristian and I got together, he introduced Jorge on a group chat and all laughed that we already knew each other. When I brought up the idea of a surprise party, he loved it. And when I explained to him that I didn't know who to invite locally in Bogota, he said not to worry about it.

Six weeks later, after I’d planned the final surprise and taken off his blindfold, the party was in full swing -with that chaotic, beautiful energy only Bogotá nights seem to conjure. Nearly a hundred people filled the room; I knew maybe ten by name, twenty by sight. Cristian was glowing - happy, overwhelmed, unsure of how to handle the attention. The music thumped, voices tangled in fast Spanish, silver spoons and shot glasses everywhere. The lighting was incredible, the energy electric — a live DJ, guys dancing in groups, laughter spilling over as the night stretched on.

Somewhere in the middle of it, a flicker of recognition as I stumbled to a bathroom and saw Enrique was there, and though dancing with 2 other guys, I could tell something was up as he was staring at Cristian and a few of his friends, one of which had been staring back at him. Expression unreadable.  It clicked later that this might have been related to the person Enrique had once told me he dated and ended badly — someone in this shared circle. That’s when I started to realize just how tightly wound that social web was. Everyone had a story, and everyone had dated everyone at least once. It was equal parts sitcom and telenovela, and I was just grateful that night didn’t implode into drama.

After that, Cristian and I settled into our rhythm. We were happy and found our flow and one night on the beaches of Cartagena, we began talking about what was long-term for us and even planned out our proposal, that he would be the one to do it, and that I would move to Bogota. We decided then and there that I would resign from my job at Spotify and open a business I had been pondering for the last few months. I just needed to return to NYC, put my stuff in storage, start a few things up and I would be back in Bogota a few months later.